Five Ways from This Year Alone that Obama Cost Himself the Election

1. The Romney personal attacks. Listen, when you yourself have a past that is shrouded in mystery, but we do know that you spent a lot of it outside of America, were raised by an unrepentant communist, ate dog meat, abused cocain, bullied a young girl because of rumors you were dating her (that she didn't start), joined a communist party in college, wrote a publisher's bio in which you described yourself as being born in Kenya, and many other disturbing things, nobody's going to care that your opponent once bullied a kid while in high school, or put his dog in a carrier on the roof of his car in a time period where everyone was doing that and no one thought it was cruel.

2. The Bain Capital attacks, despite having no proof. If you're going to attack a man's record, attack HIS record, not the record of a company he once ran that fell on hard times after installing a CEO who would later become a pretty big bundler for...uh...you.

3. Calling Romney a felon. Like "racist", the word "felon" shouldn't be a word you just throw around. Of course, since literally all of your defenders use the word "racist" the way others use "guy" or "woman", then it shouldn't be surprising that your campaign manager can bring that word up as casually as she would reference that Romney is "rich".

4. "The private sector is doing just fine." This statement more than anything else makes Obama appear to be Nero with his lyre. He wants to accuse Romney of being out of touch and then says this? The economy is in the worst state it's been in since the Great Depression, and joblessness is at an all-time high. The country looks at the president for his plan to create jobs, only to essentially be told by him that they should quit whining, because they're all doing fine.

5. "If you've got a business, you didn't build that." And the heads of every business owner in America did a simultaneous double-take, followed by a collective "WTF?" I honestly believe that statement may be the final nail in the coffin of Obama's 2012 hopes.